Use Your Strength to Serve

“Serve one another humbly in love.”

Every marriage contains differences in personality, influence, income, knowledge, physical strength, and spiritual maturity. These differences can become gifts—or tools of control.

The world often treats strength as the ability to get others to do what we want. Jesus presents a different picture: strength expressed through humble service. In a Christ-centred marriage, influence is not permission to dominate. It is a responsibility to protect, encourage, and help the other person flourish.

Control can hide behind statements such as, “I know what is best,” or, “I am only trying to help.” Even good intentions become harmful when we consistently dismiss our spouse’s thoughts, make important decisions without them, control access to money, or use Scripture and spiritual authority to silence their concerns.

Service does not mean becoming passive, accepting mistreatment, or carrying every responsibility alone. It means refusing to use what we possess—authority, money, knowledge, affection, silence, or strength—to make our spouse feel powerless.

Jesus had all authority, yet He washed His disciples’ feet. His example challenges us to ask a better question in marriage. Instead of asking, “How can I get my way?” we can ask, “How can I use what God has given me to serve the person I love?”

A strong marriage is not built by one spouse ruling while the other disappears. It grows when both people are respected, heard, and empowered to contribute.

Reflection question

Do I use my strengths to help my spouse flourish—or to make sure that I remain in control?

Prayer

Lord Jesus, teach me to follow Your example of humble service. Show me where I have used my influence, resources, knowledge, or strength to control my spouse. Help me honour their voice, protect their dignity, and use everything You have given me to serve in love. Amen.

Today’s step 

Ask your spouse, “What is one practical thing I can do today that would make you feel supported?” Listen without debating their answer, and follow through.